You Can’t Go Home Again

Thomas Wolfe penned a book by this name.   I’ve never read this novel.  Thomas was born in Asheville, NC the city just 15 minutes from where I am typing this entry.  It’s ironic because I’m going home.  We are moving back to NC after almost 17 months in the amazing, beautiful and breath-taking Pacific NorthWest.  I’m so grateful for new friends, lessons learned and a heart that is forever changed, but I’m ready, ready to prove Thomas Wolfe wrong.

Although geography is familiar, zip codes flow easily off the tongue and I can drive anywhere locally without a gps this isn’t the home in which I grew up, or even the one I left in 2013.  I’m a changed woman.  So many things are comfortable, familiar and easy, but many more are feeling pinched, foreign and a bit like a small rock in my shoe.  I’m a different woman, and the world continued to spin while I was in WA.  Relationships have moved into new phases, it’s a new season of my life and the lives of the people who I call friend or family, and there is so much “new”.  Hear my heart…this brings a certain amount of excitement to me, but it also brings a tinge of sadness.  I admit that I’m not just struggling with the details of a cross-country move.  I’m struggling with finding my “place”.

For those few that read my ramblings this post started as an update.  A message to simply notify you of our move, but it evolved, changed, grew into something else (not surprisingly).  I’m not giving up on this journey, this dream, this goal of “Brought 2 U By the Number 40”.  In fact there are many drafts I’m working on currently.  It’s going to happen.  It might look different, it might be at a different time, but it will happen.  Life has a way of ebbing, flowing and changing our plans.  I’m good with it.  There’s peace in the process, joy in the journey and acceptance in the hardship.

Perhaps I’ve been trying to be a square peg in a round hole.  There are so many unknowns in my life, but this I DO know.  I will always have a place in my parent’s home.  I will always have a place in my husband’s arms.  I will always have a place in my children’s hearts.  Oh and of UTMOST importance I have a place, of eternal security, heaven that awaits me.  A place where I can be, whom I was created to be in the presence of my Savior.  That will be my REAL home and the only reason I can go “home” again is because of the blood of Jesus Christ.

Thanks for reading…..~Janelle


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A woman on a journey. I'm blessed to be a wife to a gentle, hard-working man and mother to five unique, amazing and very busy children. Learning to live a full life, and dream again. Resting in reality and finding my beautiful.

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