As I’ve been working towards health and wellness goals I used a variety of exercise techniques. Resistance training is the collective term for various types of strength-building exercises that rely on the use of resistance to promote growth in muscles. As one of the more common forms of strength training, this approach makes use of various types of hydraulic or elastic action that involves resistance to being stretched, bent, pulled or squeezed.
Months ago I started this blog with dreams, hopes, aspirations of big things. Well, life has gotten in the way. I haven’t lost a pound in months. I haven’t exercised, run or done anything in terms of my fitness goals in quite some time. So, in regards to muscles, resistance training isn’t really working. However, I’m certainly experiencing resistance training in ALL other areas of my life. I’m growing stronger by being stretched, bent, pulled and squeezed. I could recount to you every nuance, every detail of this process, but it can be summed up by saying that I feel like a foreigner in a land that should be comfortable and that I am watching a life that isn’t mine take place all around me.
Resistance only works if you push back. If you give in to the weight and allow it to overtake you than the muscle group or area you are working on stays at the current level. Change, strength, growth doesn’t occur. Resistance is active not passive.
My faith is being stretched as I am having to walk every step, every moment by faith and not by sight. Currently nothing in my life makes sense. What does a bird do once it has lost its song? I feel lost in the chaos of my life and I’m holding onto the strong hand of our God, the only thing keeping me from drowning. Financial stress, family pressures, demands of parenting and dealing with unrealistic and unmet expectations are contributing factors to nightmares, anxiety and bouts of depression. To combat this I must spend time in God’s word. I must continue to fellowship with believers even when it would be easier and more comfortable to stay at home. I must choose to forgive those that have wounded, disappointed, misled, or betrayed. I must sing praise and speak over myself, my family and my situation words of life instead of surrendering to the words that I hear from the world. Noise CAN be overcome by silence. Light dispels darkness.
As we talked about in part 1 of this blog strength is made perfect in weakness. So as I give up on my self reliance, and start to use God’s power and strength to push back against the world I can grow. I have to be willing to push myself to learn, to pursue change, and allow people to help me. I must resist the urge to give up on life. I must resist the call to believe that life is hopeless and that I’ve been forgotten, abandoned, and am defeated. I must resist pride. My faith is grown through resisting….bending, squeezing, pulling and pushing against apathy, pride, greed, lust, fear and doubt.
I’m not going to give up on the goals and dreams I have regarding this blog. There is a big project/goal attached to this that I haven’t shared publicly. Things might need to change. Timelines might need to be altered and I will have to give up expectations. Just because it doesn’t look like I wanted it to at the beginning doesn’t mean I should abandon the project. Such is life. My life is NOT what I wanted at 39, but I can’t stop living.
Resistance training involves bands, medicine balls, hand weights, steps, body bars and other tools. My resistance training involves therapy, journaling, talking with friends, making time for myself, memorizing scripture, living in authentic community, saying no to undue stress, and living within healthy boundaries.
I am hoping to start running/walking again this week and to work out at least three times. I’m contemplating joining a class on Monday and Thursday mornings and attending an open gym on Saturdays. I have to keep resisting. Strength is admitting your areas of weakness and working to make change. I’m not as strong as I have been and I’m not as strong as I’m going to be….but I’m on the way.