“Restore Me to Sanity”

Celebrate Recovery step 2 says “We came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.”  That’s what I need currently…sanity. Throughout my life I’ve had seasons of doing the same thing over and over yet expecting different results. Isn’t that insanity?  I’ve tried to be successful or accomplish something using an old pattern or behavior that no longer works for a current situation.  This coping skill has been tried not only in my personal life, but in this journey to health and wholeness.  Things must change and adapt and so must I.  God wants me to live a balanced, sane life and to make decisions wisely and with patience and clarity.

Obviously I didn’t get to 285.6 overnight.  Lately, I have been really wondering…how did I get there?  Even more recently how did I gain almost twenty pounds in 17 months?  How am I going to find my way back to “healthy”?  I want to dig deeper, to change the things that haven’t worked and to embrace reality.  I want to view ALL areas of my life with the clear lens of godly counsel, the Word of God, and truth, not fear.

I have been a part of a program, Celebrate Recovery, for 9 years and five months.  This program is based on the 12-steps of AA.  The difference is that the steps are paired with eight recovery principles and Scriptures that partner with each. My life in the past was filled with fear, anxiety, anger, co-dependent thinking and behavior and lots of pride.  This was almost a daily response for me. Those traits rear their ugly head from time to time and I’m always on guard for negative thinking and strongholds in my life.  I’m grateful for the tool of accountability and the program of Celebrate Recovery.  Because of my willingness to share in a safe place about my fear, depression, anger and food addiction I through the grace of God have lost over 100 pounds.  Learning to forgive and be forgiven has been amazing.  I now approach relationships with healthy boundaries and I’m loving people without expecting anything in return.
It doesn’t have to be Celebrate Recovery.  It could be therapy, Weight Watchers, a support group, OA, but I would encourage you to find a safe place to share.  I have a sponsor.  I have a running buddy and food accountability partner.  It makes a world of difference.
I’ve made big strides when it comes to fitness, exercise, health and accountability.  Food choices, organization, shopping, cooking, attitudes that surround food, and consistent losing of pounds are still a struggle at times.  I tend to be more up and down than I would like.  What I want is to come to full realization of negative patterns, behaviors and habits that are holding me back and keeping me from succeeding.  My prayer is for pure motives and a clean heart.  I don’t want to lose a pound if it is replaced with pride.So I journey on, daily praying for revelation, willpower, strength to get to the next phase of my journey.  I keep pressing on to the prize.  Phil 3:14 in the New Living Translation says “I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.”  As I’ve journeyed it has been great to meet people in person and on FB.  The connection with others who are on a journey towards health/wholeness/freedom/weight loss has been inspirational and uplifting.

 

I want to be healthy, whole, thinner, sane and joyful.  I desire to live a balanced, God-honoring life full of gratitude and peace.  Leaving a legacy of service, joy and love is important to me.  I have big dreams, but I have an even bigger GOD!!!  Fat 2 Fit by FAITH.  Ok…there’s also a lot of hard work involved too, BUT I can only do it by faith.  I’m so grateful to be running towards God, health, freedom, clarity, sanity and joy instead of towards chaos, people’s opinions, fear, food and bondage.  Here’s a song for the journey.  Thanks for reading.

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brought2ubythenumber40

A woman on a journey. I'm blessed to be a wife to a gentle, hard-working man and mother to five unique, amazing and very busy children. Learning to live a full life, and dream again. Resting in reality and finding my beautiful.

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